can I start being Shomer Habris ?
There are a number of things that you need to know in order to succeed
is to fully acknowledge the situation.
Acknowledge that it is very possible to be Shomer Habris especially at the basic level of refraining from doing physical sins. However to a person that is in a situation of impurity it might seem like it is totally impossible to stop.
It will seem like it is beyond Human ability to be Shomer Habris. What this person must do is two thing the first he must begin weakening his Yeter Hara, the second thing is he must start building merit and protection.
Weakining the Yeter Hara
First of all a person should temporarily ignore the severity and the punishment of the sin. He must remember that Hashem has infinite mercy and is always ready to accept those who wish to return to him. As far as rectifying the past forget about that for now, just focus on the current situation when at a later situation you will have more energy then you should consider doing Tikunim for the past. The whole trick of Avodas Hashem is, when you have energy you do, when you are low on energy you contract yourself and remain still using all remaining energy to refrain form falling, waiting for more energy so you can hit again. Remember the mighty warrior is not the person who can strike a one time hit but rather a person who knows the techniques of battle and can fight consistently little by little until he reaches the day that he has completely destroyed his enemy. This person will rise up and continue no matter what falls and obstacles are placed in his path.
The way the Yeter Harah works is very simple. At a general point in time when a person is in control of his mind he has almost no control over him. He then draws him in little by little, it could start by having him look at an impure picture, bring an impure thought into his head or any number of ways. He then draws him more and more into his trap. In the beginning a person can still pull back however as a person transcends into the impurity he starts loosing his will to pull back little by little until he reaches a point where he thinks that it is impossible to stop.
The Solution to this is very simple although very hard to cary out. It is, to stop it before it starts to demolish it before it begins. The second a person feels this Yeter Hare gaining even the smallest entrance over him he must run and do everything in his power to get away. Even if he feels that he is miles away from committing the actual sin.
The only way a person can do this is to start making boundaries. Every person must analyze where he falls and start chopping away at those places. Not at the sin itself but ten steps in front of the sin.
There is also another issue that even when a person does all within his might not to go next to a sin there are going to be times when he will be tested and he will be placed in a situation against his will. In this place he must make use of extremely drastic methods to escape at all costs. It is here that he proves that he is truly Shomer Habris. It is here that he receives his biggest Tikun when he is forcibly passed through those same situations in the same constricted mind frame and he immerges victorious.
However all this is very hard as a person will be placed through thousands of tests which he must pass. He must vanquish impure thoughts from his mind hundreds of thousands of times until he is victorious. When a person looks at all this it seems humanly impossible to do. This is because he is not aware of the important fact that the more times he wins the stronger he becomes. Every time he passes a test the easer it becomes to pass it again. There will be a point when he will look back and the tests that loomed in front of him like huge dark mountains will suddenly appear to be nothing more then little pebbles. He will reach a time that he will laugh at the past weaknesses that controlled his life.
However even if a person accepts this fact as being true since he can not actively experience it, it is extremely difficult for him to act upon it and use it as a motivation to fight such a huge battle.
A person who wishes to become Shomer Habris must do the following tune out everything else and say I am going to try being Shomer Habris for the next week after that what ever happens happens. After that week a person must start again if a person falls on the way it is not a big deal he should forget about it immediately he just has to refocused his energies and start again. Every time a person wins it becomes easier and easier until he has totally left his previous actions and has gained full control over himself.
A person may say the following "It is very good if I was living in Tzfat or Meah Shiarim studying Torah all day, then it would be very easy to be Shomer Habris. Unfortunately life has placed me in a situation that I have to travel to the City every day and work in a mixed office with non jewish and unreligious coworkers. I also hardly have time to pray and study Torah. I am being exposed to the Klipos the whole day, how is it possible to be Shomer Habris?
The answer is the following the more impure a person is, the more hold the Klipot have over him. The more Tikunim a person does the more protection he has and the less of a hold the Klipot have over him. If a person builds protection, then when he is forced to go into the domain of the Klipot they have little grasp over him and he can pass through un effected. Just like a small child who has not yet defiled himself can walk through the streets and is much less effected, so to a person who does Tikunim can walk through the streets and has much protection from the Klipot, impure thoughts and desires.
The basic trick is to build armor in advance. To do Tikunim before you need them, to seal the holes before the Klipot can gain a hold. Tikunim is a double term, it helps rectify the past and build protection in the future. Even a person that is fully aware that he is still in the possession of the Sitra Acher and that he is still falling to the sins of Pgam Habris, Heaven Forbid, he should also do the Tikunim. Doing the Tikunim will remove a large percent of his impure thoughts and desires and will make it much easier for him to be Shomer Habris. In addition they will also send him much protection from heaven and save him from even entering into a situation where he may stumble. A person who does Tikunim if he ever Heaven Forbid enters a situation where he is about to stumble, suddenly all the Tikunim that he has done in the past will rise up to his aid and save him.
The first thing a person has to do is mark a separation between the things he is forced to do and the things that he does maliciously, whether out of irresponsible planning or from the fact that he is not willing to make some simple sacrifices to become Shomer Habris. A person can only expect to be protected in situation that he must enter, not in situations that he enters form his own will and for his personal desires. In addition a person is required to make some sacrifices. If a person places himself in a situation because not doing so would have caused him some slight discomfort, that is not called a situation that he was forced to enter.
Let us give some examples a person might be forced to work in the city. He might be forced to travel on the subway / railroad system. He might be forced to work a mixed office and talk to women. He might be forced to use the internet for work related reasons. He might feel forced to keep up to date on current events. However there is absolutely no excuse in the world for ever watching a movie. For ever reading any non work related books. For ever watching TV. For ever going to impure places for any social activity. For ever socializing with women for non work related reasons. If a person is not willing to sacrifice these activities, only because at times it will place him in a situation of discomfort, then the fault is his. It his own fault if he stumbles to the sins of Pgam Habris and he will pay the price.
[Let us just add two things here. The first is, if a person carefully plans out his life and also if he prays to Hashem then he can avoid most of the situations that we listed above of being "forced to do". The second thing is that even if a person still actively does the things we stated above that should not be done, or that he made a judgment upon himself that if he changes his whole life in one minute he will surely fall after a short period of time. He consistently removes himself from the Klipah little by little until he has total stopped. Both these people should also do Tikunim since they will help him out.]
Listed here are a number of Tikunim and Halochos that are very easy to do and every one can do them.
1 - Mikvah
2 - Tikun
3 - Torah
4 - Hisbodedute
5 - Nitilat
of Tikunim will B"H be posted next week