Na Nach the Battle Cry

Na Nach the Battle Cry by: Yeruchum

I stagger through the streets of Manhattan, on my way home from work. My back is hunched and my mind confounded, as I think about my day at the hard degrading job I have. I am literally dragging my body around; all my strength has left me. My head feels stuffed; my thoughts swirl around me uncontrollably. There is a migraine developing on the side of my head. I feel demons hovering all over me.
Around me there are Klipot, thousands of Klipot. I force my gaze on the ground lest impure thoughts enter my mind. As I stumble I loose it for a split second, my eyes as if pulled by an invisible force shoot up, gazing at a street poster. I quickly swerve my head in the other direction; it is not to much better. My head twits trying to find a place to rest its eyes.

It is so hard, I am so weak, how much longer can I takes it. And the Klipat call out "Come to us, come back…."
"Come back to us; ever since you did Tshuva look how wasted you have been."
"Everything you try does not work out; look what a pathetic job you have"

I am starting to loose it.
"Come back to us and we will give you everything you want."
"Money, power, pleasure…we will give you your life back"

My mind races to last weekend. I sat in a room fasting, studying Torah. All my coworkers were in Florida, committing every sin in the book. Where did it get me, Nowhere! I am almost as wasted as when I started, they are still eating me for breakfast, lunch and supper!

"We will give you energy, we will give you life."
"Forget about Kabbalah, it is too hard, it is only for people who are holy, people who never messed up before"

I am losing… I can't stand up much longer.
I jab my hand into my pocket, grab the bent paper clip.
I take it and stab it into my skin.

I am bleeding.
I winch my eyes shut.
In my mind I shout on top of my lungs



I am not giving up until I am dead.

I jerk my head down, forcing my eyes on the floor and continue walking.
I do not expect an immediate reward, I do not expect light, I do not expect things to change, but I know that I have just passed another test.